"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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