I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
