Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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