i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
