HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
