just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
