How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
