Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
