Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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