Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
