I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
