I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
