Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
