DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
