so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
