i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
