So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
