Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
