awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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