Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
