Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize