Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize