I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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