I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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