How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize