So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
