I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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