I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She said her name was "party"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
