she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Are we still banned from the library?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
