My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's like iHOP with fire
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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