pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
