Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
