I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you had me at cake vodka
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
40s are totally the cure
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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