so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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