Already got asked if we're dating
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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