At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
