Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
