your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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