haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
