apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's always time for handjobs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
