Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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