i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
