No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
