Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
