a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
