I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
