where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This is the high leading the old right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
