the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
