I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
