He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize