She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
