I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
