they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
