stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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