Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
3pm strippers are depressing
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
