Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize