You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
